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Archive for September, 2011|Monthly archive page

Gold Rush – Part I

In Earth on September 30, 2011 at 2:36 pm

The price of gold bullion and his bastard half-brother, the barrels of  grease is in the ascendancy. Today, we’ll be analysing this insatiable hunger for gold of the black variety.

Even though we laud ourselves on our technical progression, the present age will be characteristically encompassed in the petroleum era.  As you have been taught, animals are differentiated from plants by their inherent ability of movement, among whom, the humans came out the brightest. We wanted to travel faster than the fastest on this planet. Coal became the staple fuel for transportation in the initial part of our journey. Petroleum had made it’s presence felt from ancient times as well but humanity was blissfully unaware of  its potential. Oil was derived from bamboo-drilled wells in China by 347 AD and we had to wait till the 1850s to get kerosene.

Initially, gasoline was an unfortunate by-product that used to flare off during the manufacturing process of paraffin, made by the Royal Dutch on Sumatra. The 1900s saw the rise of the automobile which irrevocably changed the terrain of Earth criss-crossing  it with hardened black tar, holding the planet in a deadly embrace. Gas and speed was too much to resist for man. As Shakespeare would have commented:

‘Twas a match madeth in heaven. 

We traveled, we cooked, we anointed and rejoiced in it. Here, as  we stand at the peak of a scientifically revolutionary age, it would only be appropriate to excogitate how exactly have we  repaid the planet for her providence.

pelican in oil

An exhausted brown-pelican struggling in a pool of oil, June 2010 (Sean Gardner/Reuters/Boston.com)

(End of  Part I)

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Moral Subsidy

In Culture on September 27, 2011 at 5:58 am

The topic for today, my children, is an oft-debated practice of your masters – CENSORSHIP.  The masters have been here longer than you, hence they automatically inherit the right to decide what best serves  as moral cognitive content.

Repeat after me, I AM FREE!

Case study #1 : Weak and powerless breasts

The visual representation of this Perfect Circle song features a woman trying to fill a hole inside her soul with whatever she can find in her environment.  In comparison to the vast amounts of oversexed garbage produced daily for the sake of  ‘artistic freedom’, this video leans more towards the frail psyche of humans than any carnal prerogative.

Yet, my children, the masters have decided you’re not allowed to witness the human female form in its entirety.

Again, repeat, I AM FREE.

Note: the unedited version is available on APC’s DVD – aMOTION

Case study #2 : Let go of my coccyx

Get Smart, starring Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway was broadcast on Indian television with generous portions missing. But the most alarming edit was the following line;

Agent 86: Sir, I believe you just shattered my coccyx.

*If the above link doesn’t work: http://cdn.hark.com/swfs/player_bar.swf?pid=bnkxnpjthj

Now, my biologically ignorant children, coccyx is  commonly known as your tailbone, the last bone in your spinal column. Your masters strongly felt that the utterance of this innocuous piece of human anatomy is apparently going to  corrupt your moral fibre.  Hence, all that was left on-screen after the cut was Agent 86 letting know the Marshal, who’d fallen on top of him;

Agent 86: Sir, I believe  you just shattered… 

  [his lips moved but no words, the masters are here to protect you]

Forever keep repeating,

I   AM FREE.

Luke Barrs

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