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Archive for October, 2019|Monthly archive page

The Shattering

In Life on October 1, 2019 at 7:37 am
At what point in your life do you become a man?

 

Is it your first spluge of alcohol that when you are able to hold inside which marks the point? No

 

Is it the first blow you land on a fellow human? No

 

Instead there is an instant where your soul realizes it will forever miss a part of its constitution. She was, or is the missing piece. A piece that you were drawn towards at one point but the forces of nature built insurmountable indifferent obstacles that made it so that you will be never together.

 

You will never bathe in her warm, oily breath. You will never run your fingers through her freshly wet long locks. You will never see those little hairs on her neck stand at full tilt when you caress her back. She has attached on to her soul another, whom she sought as a match as TIME had its way with your fate.

 

Brother, I tell you, embrace that pain. Live every moment of it. Become the pain. Steadily let it engulf every inch of your soul in that invaluably terrifyingly excruciating pain. Feel it eat away at every inch of your miserable flesh. Let it consume you through and through. There is no hedonistic pleasure in this entire universe that can sufficiently equate to that existential horror.

 

And at that moment when you feel that all consuming flame build up to its crescendo, when you feel it forming a sheet of supposedly unbreakable glass around your aching heart, you can slowly discern the cracks giving away, the glass shatters, your cocoon of pain dissolves. You arise at the other end much like the phoenix of yore, with your mighty heart perfected inside those all-consuming flames of your passion that ceased to be, but transmuted into an impervious shield.

 

Rejoice, you are there, brother. An eternal scar remains, nevertheless that beautiful, eternally tumultuous torment signifies your true manhood.

 

Luke Barrs

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